Being an adult is the worst. And, the older you get, the worse it gets. Knowing that, I needed to find ways of compromise so that I can be a responsible, healthy adult without wanting to jump in front of a semi. One of my best strategies is the idea of Weekends Off.
The concept is that, on weekdays only, I do all the bad jobs I hate. Then, I take the weekends off. It’s worked out really well. The bad jobs are less daunting (some things are too awful to face every day for the rest of my life) and the weekends seem a lot more fun for really simple reasons.
Here are examples of things I don’t do on weekends:
• Floss. I hate flossing so much. But, if I do it only Monday through Friday, I’m getting all the benefits with an added bonus of feeling naughtier and lazier on the weekends. (My dentist said this strategy is fantastic, so one out of one dentists approve!)
• Shaving anything. It’s my right as an American to be a hairy ol’ mess on the weekends. (Full disclosure: Sometimes I take a few weeks off from shaving my legs; I’m blessed with near-hairlessness naturally. But, even if it’s been a long time, I still won’t shave on a Saturday or Sunday. It’s my policy!)
• Putting on lotion. I hate putting on body lotion after I shower. It takes all of two minutes, but it’s a mundane, repetitive, stupid chore that eats away at my mental health. It’s just one more lame grooming thing I have to do between the shower and bed, when I’m least amenable to obstacles. So, I don’t do it on the weekends. Two days off and I never get ashy.
(Anyone else worried that these are all grooming-related?)
• Taking vitamins. It’s hard enough choking them down for five straight days. I need two days per week to let my gag reflex quiet down. Are there any vitamins that don’t make you barf? Ug. So gross.
• Eating vegetables. Okay, so this one I’m actually trying to quit. I’ve managed to will myself into eating tons of vegetables on weekdays. I even eat things I’ve always hated, such as spring mix salad, which reminds me of yard clippings. But, on weekends, I can’t face it. Fruit, I can manage. But, vegetables? On a Saturday? Oh god. It’s too depressing to think about.
But, I’m trying to ease into a seven-day veggie habit. I’m taking to it like a slug to a salt bath, but at least I’m trying. Well, I’m in the mental phase of trying. I’m thinking about trying. I’m utilizing visualization techniques and coming to terms with the idea of vegetables on Saturdays. It’s a Clockwork Orange kind of thing. Baby steps.
What strategies do you use to make the awful business of being a grownup more palatable?