My bird just got better

It’s a banner week that ends with a giant, purple finger. While playing with Dougal early Thursday morning, I cracked my right bird finger against a board in the back of the couch, heard a snap, and knew my finger might not make it out alive. The swelling began almost instantly and has continued, creating a “sausage with a fingernail” effect that is rather sexy. The finger is so swollen, in fact, the skin is getting weird and shiny, as if it might split like a microwaved kielbasa at any moment.

But, sausage be damned, I’m not going to the doctor. The radiation I’d be exposed to getting an x-ray would surely be more damaging than a broken finger. Right? Right? The truth is I don’t want to waste a couple hours of my life waiting for a professional to truss up my finger when I could do it myself at home for free. Take that, health care system! I’m saving my deductible for the hard stuff.

The best news is that flipping the bird, which is already one of my favorite things to do, is suddenly much more exciting. There’s nothing like flashing a huge sausage-finger at the TV or radio to drive home the “you suck more than usual” message.

So, that’s pretty much what I’ve been up to this week. I’m hoping I can plead the sausage to excuse a few missed gym days and a drop-off in vacuuming. I don’t want to make it worse, after all.

What’s everyone else been up to lately?