• Pregnant. Since all of this started, I’ve exclusively told people Ben and I are expecting. The P-word isn’t easy for me to say.
At home, I’ll make jokes, referring to myself in the third person. For example, “I hope you know what happens when you leave a pregnant lady unattended with a giant bowl of pudding!” Or, “Yes, I ate all the string cheese. The entire bag. Give the pregnant lady a break!” (Can you tell my appetite is back?)
But, outside of making dorky jokes, “pregnant” is not a word I can say out loud in public and in reference to myself. I don’t understand my hang-up about the word. Perhaps it conjures up graphic images of giant, waddling women with swollen ankles and spider veins. Or, maybe there’s a deep, subconscious bias. I don’t much care. I’m just trying to ease my way into it.
Until then, I’m telling everyone Ben’s pregnant. Yep, he went and got himself knocked up. (So much easier to say!)
• Pee. For most of the first trimester, I was making an extra bathroom run every night. No biggie. Now, I’m up to two or three extra bathroom trips a night, and at least one water run. If I’m not in the bathroom, I’m in the kitchen, guzzling water like an elephant. I’m so thirsty and I need to pee all the time.
Even on our morning walk, I’ve had to duck into the shrubs (in my residential neighborhood!) to make an emergency pee stop! It’s horribly embarrassing, but I feel powerless to behave any differently. Don’t arrest me! Ben is pregnant and I need to pee!
• More Pee. By now (16 weeks), our baby is producing his own urine. At first, I thought this might be why I was peeing so much. I’m peeing for two! However, on further research, the truth is more horrifying. The baby is peeing into the amniotic sack. For the next six months, he’ll be swimming in a warm pool of his own pee, and there’s not a damn thing to be done about it. This knowledge is impacting my ability to function in the world. I know he’ll be adorable and wonderful…but he’ll also be covered in pee. AAGGGHHHHH!!!!